dear dad

sometimes you want to break down and cry and have someone tell you all this is going to pass.
why did we have to grow up? now it is our turn to tell our children that india is not gonna collapse by the time they grow up, without any conviction in our voices. is this what they are trying to achieve? break the backs of the common man and inject panic in our bloodstream?
and our foolish media has played into their hands, publicizing the acts, doing the job for the terrorists . . . man, they must be laughing at this fourth pillar of our democracy. in a bid to outrun the other channels, each TV reporter is eagerly waiting for more blood and gore to show us. they are sensationalizing the incidents and calling it the second largest terrorist attack after the WTC. the terrorists are laughing and raising a toast.

and then one of our leading newspapermen will take time out of his harem and write a column sympathizing with the cause of the terrorists. in chaste, almost ostentatious English. it is the government's failure that we are paying the price for now, he will harp. like all americans should be made to pay for Nixon's troops in Vietnam or all Germans should be hated because there was once a hitler there.

history shows that after every war the world has come back to its feet, but i am not so sure. something's welling inside and can't be held back any more. i want to cry, sob uncontrollably, and not pretend to be a strong man ready to protect his family and country.

dear dad, can i come back to you? will you protect me today?

good sense, they say...

good sense, they say, doth prevail even if the racist followers of white and protestant Christian supremacy have ruled the US for the last eight years and gone all over the world like plundering Huns with no conceivable reason, making us lose our faith in the average American voter. but look up now! can you see that the republicans are gone, and the world will be safe? no more will you have to take out processions in Berkeley against the war, because there won't be any unnecessary wars. no WTC will be bombed by the CIA again. no frankensteins like the talibans will be created, no saddams will be hanged... india will probably have to worry about the nuclear deal not coming thru, but then, humans have come back, so rejoice. the democrats are humans and they (despite being Americans) respect women, black, Catholic, Jewish, hispanic, or gay rights unlike the illiterate republicans, who represent the generic illiterate, school dropout, religious, blind American. we have always known and looked up to good human beings like Jimmy Carter or Bill Clinton. they are the Americans we adored. strangely, the same Americans elected people like Nixon, Reagan, or the Bushes to power. we are Indians, so we don't know much, but that's one behavior by the world's richest and most advanced people that we could never fathom.

we aren't as interested in the politics of our own country because it had gone to the dogs right during the days of Gandhi and Nehru. the humans left us in the hands of a handful of indians, can you believe it? Indians ruling India? so they created a constitution that was heavy and complicated and wrapped in red tape. in an euphoria similar to that of students when teachers leave the school, the indians sixty years back sat in the chairs meant for and suiting the British. and we have never looked forward since then. it has been socially, morally, and culturally a backward journey that will eventually end in a bottomless abyss. religions of all kinds gained prominence, the caste divisions were exploited as vote banks, the divide between the rich and poor increased even further, intolerance reached absurd levels...and we got cellphones and a rocket to the moon. a handful of indians wanted the humans beings to come back, but then, they were economically brow beaten after the second world war and could not sustain their empire. America and Russia emerged as the superpowers instead.
Our prime ministers have always exchanged roses with the Russian premiers and the ruling Congress of senile old fools had a socialist leaning. But some Indians read Allen Ginsberg and some others listened to Lennon and Morrisson. America it was. It will liberate us. To get ready for our liberation, we promptly increased the size of the flared bottoms of our trousers. Nothing happened, really. We were left disillusioned.

Even now many Indians follow the American polls like it is gonna decide their life tomorrow. Like Obama will liberate us from us Indians. Some are disenchanted. Some know that the evil will gain victory over the good by proving that Obama loves to have sex. Maybe even with his intern.
And soon enough all our liberated, emancipated Americans will vote for a republican candidate... oh blasphemy... how can a prez let someone else give him a blow job?

he he, if we started bothering about our scandals, we would have to let the military rule us instead of the khadi clad pigs out there. Chandrasekhar, our ex PM, had to have sex with one minor boy every night. A new one every night, mind you. And this is a rumor, I hear. I love rumors because they have some element of truth in them. Maybe he kept one boy for a week? Some bastards tweak reality for some selfish, sadistic pleasures, I tell you!

So, dear Americans, listen for a second. Even if your Obama dear goes around fucking twenty different men and women, please show your good sense and elect another democrat (or Obama himself) next time round by keeping in mind his good deeds the next four years. he will take the troops off Afghanistan and Pakistan, resulting in the terrorists being left with no agenda of killing Americans (they mean Americans, but plant the bombs under our asses because we signed a nuclear deal with the US while Pakistan was kicked out by China) and turning into farmers or truck drivers. He will give the Americans back their jobs, so they will agree to unrecognize the word Bangalored from their vocabulary. Americans will learn to sing and write again and may also start talking of world peace (that will be a miracle, lemme sound Mr Benedict off on this). Lennon may come back from his grave. LSD might again be allowed freely in our country. We may get another chance to burn lingerie. With Indian women mostly wearing satin these days, it will be a welcome activity. For all you know, I may be able to take my motorbike from India to Redditch through Afghanistan and Iran without being hit by 2,064 bullets. Oh for the sweet little dreams that Obama has brought into our minds. The bankers are rejoicing, and my mutual funds are looking up again with a rising sensex. Never has some other kinda arousal brought so much pleasure before. "May Obama have the sexiest intern ever, but may he never get caught," is our collective sigh.