Wednesday, November 05, 2008

good sense, they say...

good sense, they say, doth prevail even if the racist followers of white and protestant Christian supremacy have ruled the US for the last eight years and gone all over the world like plundering Huns with no conceivable reason, making us lose our faith in the average American voter. but look up now! can you see that the republicans are gone, and the world will be safe? no more will you have to take out processions in Berkeley against the war, because there won't be any unnecessary wars. no WTC will be bombed by the CIA again. no frankensteins like the talibans will be created, no saddams will be hanged... india will probably have to worry about the nuclear deal not coming thru, but then, humans have come back, so rejoice. the democrats are humans and they (despite being Americans) respect women, black, Catholic, Jewish, hispanic, or gay rights unlike the illiterate republicans, who represent the generic illiterate, school dropout, religious, blind American. we have always known and looked up to good human beings like Jimmy Carter or Bill Clinton. they are the Americans we adored. strangely, the same Americans elected people like Nixon, Reagan, or the Bushes to power. we are Indians, so we don't know much, but that's one behavior by the world's richest and most advanced people that we could never fathom.

we aren't as interested in the politics of our own country because it had gone to the dogs right during the days of Gandhi and Nehru. the humans left us in the hands of a handful of indians, can you believe it? Indians ruling India? so they created a constitution that was heavy and complicated and wrapped in red tape. in an euphoria similar to that of students when teachers leave the school, the indians sixty years back sat in the chairs meant for and suiting the British. and we have never looked forward since then. it has been socially, morally, and culturally a backward journey that will eventually end in a bottomless abyss. religions of all kinds gained prominence, the caste divisions were exploited as vote banks, the divide between the rich and poor increased even further, intolerance reached absurd levels...and we got cellphones and a rocket to the moon. a handful of indians wanted the humans beings to come back, but then, they were economically brow beaten after the second world war and could not sustain their empire. America and Russia emerged as the superpowers instead.
Our prime ministers have always exchanged roses with the Russian premiers and the ruling Congress of senile old fools had a socialist leaning. But some Indians read Allen Ginsberg and some others listened to Lennon and Morrisson. America it was. It will liberate us. To get ready for our liberation, we promptly increased the size of the flared bottoms of our trousers. Nothing happened, really. We were left disillusioned.

Even now many Indians follow the American polls like it is gonna decide their life tomorrow. Like Obama will liberate us from us Indians. Some are disenchanted. Some know that the evil will gain victory over the good by proving that Obama loves to have sex. Maybe even with his intern.
And soon enough all our liberated, emancipated Americans will vote for a republican candidate... oh blasphemy... how can a prez let someone else give him a blow job?

he he, if we started bothering about our scandals, we would have to let the military rule us instead of the khadi clad pigs out there. Chandrasekhar, our ex PM, had to have sex with one minor boy every night. A new one every night, mind you. And this is a rumor, I hear. I love rumors because they have some element of truth in them. Maybe he kept one boy for a week? Some bastards tweak reality for some selfish, sadistic pleasures, I tell you!

So, dear Americans, listen for a second. Even if your Obama dear goes around fucking twenty different men and women, please show your good sense and elect another democrat (or Obama himself) next time round by keeping in mind his good deeds the next four years. he will take the troops off Afghanistan and Pakistan, resulting in the terrorists being left with no agenda of killing Americans (they mean Americans, but plant the bombs under our asses because we signed a nuclear deal with the US while Pakistan was kicked out by China) and turning into farmers or truck drivers. He will give the Americans back their jobs, so they will agree to unrecognize the word Bangalored from their vocabulary. Americans will learn to sing and write again and may also start talking of world peace (that will be a miracle, lemme sound Mr Benedict off on this). Lennon may come back from his grave. LSD might again be allowed freely in our country. We may get another chance to burn lingerie. With Indian women mostly wearing satin these days, it will be a welcome activity. For all you know, I may be able to take my motorbike from India to Redditch through Afghanistan and Iran without being hit by 2,064 bullets. Oh for the sweet little dreams that Obama has brought into our minds. The bankers are rejoicing, and my mutual funds are looking up again with a rising sensex. Never has some other kinda arousal brought so much pleasure before. "May Obama have the sexiest intern ever, but may he never get caught," is our collective sigh.


Indian Home Maker said...

Agree, whatever else they do I hope they elect a Democrat each time :)

Pinku said...



btw that rumour was very any more to share?

Oreen said...

IHM, am glad u support a similar cause... and Pinku, as a student of literature in BHU, we had to stay in the Birla hostel, notorious as the habitat of the pet goons of politicians. one guy there claimed to have sourced young boys to him in Allahabad. Given that most men there raped young boys for the lack of women, it wasn't very difficult to believe, was it? UP and Bihar are states where you have to have a moustache to be considered a man... i wonder whom Raj Thakre has poked... he will get raped from all the available orifices in his body...

Mampi said...

I come home from work and read it and thank god i have had my lunch before i opened this...
Wonderful rumors, thanks for sharing, my kadhi was not so spicy today, you added the spice to it.
Crazy perspective, and very very very enjoyble-yummmmm.
Most of all i loved the flared trousers, and the bombs planted under the indians' a****
Amens to all your wishes.

addled said...

haha.. well depicted! But jokes apart, i choose to look at the serious side of the whole issue, which isn't as simple as Indians following the elections just because they think Obama will relieve them of a lot of issues the republicans otherwise created. From news about Obama and his background, i am afraid what a person like him is capable of doing to the rest of the world if his intentions turn sour. Of course, he cant really meddle with India as we are a strong nation politically, given the kind of examples you cited and a lot more that we know about, he cant mess with such guys very easily (satire intended).

But honestly, i believe this guy is a true depiction of very 'American' policies and political gimmicks. Look at the segments of people voting that won him the votes, look at the stuff he promised before the election, and now watch for what he will do next!

Lazyani said...

As you too get into the Obamania vessel, just one word of caution. Implementation and verbal grandiose are not necessarily good friends. So, I would wait and watch and hope. After all , what is worse than soldiers at war are idle soldiers just returned from a gruelling war.

And, whatever OBAMA tries to do, the US economy may not look up without war mongering.

So keep those dreams going, pray hard and let the fingers be crossed - tightly.

And Indian politicians? We get what we deserve. Amen!