Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Spilled to Bloodlessness is the culprit

Every time I feel I have something to write, I think of writing in the other blog. Reason being the readership. At least some people will read me, I think. Cannot tell you how immensely satisfying it is to have somebody read anything you've written. I do that quite often. Thrust my stuff at people and expect them to comment.

Some of them really puked. What mush, they blurted. Someone else gushed, how real. Because I value most of the opinions, I am left thinking what to make of my writing. Is it absolute trash? How come it made her cry then?

But since yesterday I've been finding it difficult to write. Started with the topic of an amblyopic mind, when your mind is gradually going off to sleep, when it refuses to mentally strip for you the girl in the next cubicle. And you feel let down. My mind goes lazy like that at times and I catch myself trying to bribe it. Usually with music.

Was not sure it would make a good topic for a public blog, but that was where I wanted to write. For its readership, again. How vain! Have overcome that today. If I have to blurt out, let me do it here. If I have something separately crafted for Spilled to Bloodlessness, let me post it there.

Because this is where you can goof up and laugh at yourself. But that is like a stage where once you fumble, you trip and fall. Fall where? In others' eyes? How do you care? Who are they? How do they matter? But they are readers, people for whom you write. Yes, sometimes you do write for them, don't you?
Most of the time?

This is a big one.
"Whatever I write is for them."
Them with the unknown faces and the most beautiful names.


Enemy of the Republic said...

So we're the culprit? What did we do? Enquiring mind must know!

Oreen said...

nah! just trying to cope with a lazy mind and now that i have something to blame...ha ha ha...

Enemy of the Republic said...

The cure for a lazy mind: write more stuff on Spilled to Bloodlessness!

david raphael israel said...

your last line reminds me of lines from W.S. Merwin -- but it goes, I think --
you with the the face
you with all of the faces

-- but maybe that's not quite it.
Do you know Merwin's poetry?
cheers, d.i.
ps: I like your little music list (minimalists + indian classicals)

Pinku said...

who do we write for indeed??
I find myself fluctuating between writing to settle scores, to make my thoughts known, to help myself think and at times only as a thought recorder or memory binder.

but write we do...ah the magic of words...