Thursday, January 29, 2009

Of Prostates and Other Stuff

You guys make up your mind for once. Recently I read a report saying people who masturbate a lot are not likely to get prostate cancer when they grow old. Okay. Nobody complained. Yesterday there was this report that people who masturbate a lot and lead active sex lives in their youth are more prone to having prostate cancer at a later age.

Now, for once, give me the facts instead of doing numerous studies and coming up with different conclusions. I don't want to get prostate cancer. Is there any other way to ward off the possibility of getting it later? Do I stop being religious with the antidote or is that an antidote at all?

Newspapers confuse you. I will soon start skipping the health page.

Today I hit one Tata Safari with my jeep. My metal bumper got lodged into that SUV's rear bumper, and ripped it off. Apparently it costs quite a lot, while mine can be beaten back to shape for a nominal Rs 200. Am expecting that guy to give me a call any moment. Sudden expenses at the end of the month, especially when your otherwise healthy mental state has been challenged by a disturbing newspaper report, are very unwelcome to say the least.

And then there's this fever that came right in the middle of a conference call last night. That too on the slide that spoke about some revenue figures. I had also come to know yesterday that my wife's company is getting rid of a lot of people by the end of this month, so the general mood was not very rummy. A glass of rum was what I needed right then, but unfortunately, didn't have stock.

So I planned to take off tomorrow. Sitting at the desk with fever is not a great idea, and moreover m dad's leaving tomorrow, so I can spend some time with him, I thought. And just now received a meeting request for 11.45 a.m. tomorrow.

I want Charles Berlitz to write about Doomsday 2012 this time. That will give me something to look forward to.


Mampi said...

When the Safari guy calls up, tell that you are confused about Prostrate. It might help !!!
Hope you recover from the fever soon. You gotta write that paperback and you cant go very far with the fever.

Lazyani said...

Happens dear!! Remember when our schools cajoled us into writing essays (minimum 250 words) about 'the day when everything went wrong' and we managed only 100 words as we could not write about enough such incidents!!
I wish we got a chance to write such things now. Could possibly write a book on it.

Anonymous said...

Am with Mampi on this.. pass that thing on to him.. screw his happiness in screwing.. let him practice celibacy for the rest of his life..

That very scare will blow his wits off.. he may offer you 200 bucks to fix yours for - all you know..

Roopa said...

That is quite a list of bad things coming your way. Well, the good thing is you still found some humor in it :).

A little correction - it is prostate cancer and not prostrate cancer. Although, I admit that that particular male gland can "prostrate" any man!

Oreen said...

roopa, thanks for the correction...
i changed it to prostate :)

Rocky said...

Read what wiki says " An automobile's bumper is the front-most or rear-most part, ostensibly designed to allow the car to sustain an impact without damage to the vehicle's frame or safety systems, but it will not withstand damage to high speed impacts. While bumpers were originally constructed of heavy steel and held clear from the bodywork, they are now light-weight structures of thermo-plastic or painted light metal — leaving them susceptible to damage from even light contact."


Me thinks Safari belongs to the last line. Bumper is suppose to bump. Thats the duty of a bumper. I dunno why u became soft and paid him. He tuff, he a man, what happened to you "growing my biceps" plan?